I wonder how does a person complete come to grips with the pain of rape? Don’t get me wrong.**
- in a lot of ways I have a very full life – a loving husband.**
- beautiful kids. What others on the outside looking in would consider a “happy life”.

However.**
- I still feel the rape that happened to me when I was 14 years old is affecting me. I still have major affects where intimacy is concerned and while my husband understands (I told him what happened to me).**
- I know it’s frustrating for him. With my teenage daughter I am over-protective and worry whenever she is out with out with friends – practically obsess on it. However.**
- the reality is I am proud to say we have raised a very strong and independent daughter and when she was old enough I told her what happened to me (not to make her paranoid).**
- just to make her aware of why I have always been so over-protective and really with all my children.

I was a a mess in my teens and I made a lot of questionable decisions in my late teens – (I had kept the rape secret from my parents) and used drinking and partying to cope. I also became very reclusive for a period of time.**
- where I didn’t want to leave the home (even to go to school). When I was finally able to share what happened to me.**
- it helped.**
- but it wasn’t a cure all. I still dealt with periods of deep depression and self-loathing.

Through it all I managed to go to college and have a very successful career. Interesting enough the difficulty forming long-term relationships the rape caused.**
- actually seemed to help to make me better and stronger in my career – I could just throw myself in that and didn’t care about socializing or meaningful relationships.

My husband is a man I met at work and actually was one of my only TRUE friends. I confided in him early on and things just clicked. We first moved in together and than got married. Now.**
- years later all of the pain of the rape is coming back to me. I think the recent death of my dad who I saw as my “rock” the strongest and most sensitive man in life is causing the pain to resurface. Now.**
- along with the grieving.**
- I am having severe intimacy issues with my husband. I can’t even imagine making love right now. I pull away whenever my husband touches me.

So.**
- on top of grieving my father.**
- I am feeling tremendous guilt for not being a good wife. As a matter of fact I feel a bit distance from my entire family (I have spent a lot of time helping my mom and having been staying with her on and off). And when I’m home I just am having trouble feeling any closeness to my own family. I think my daughter is who I feel closest to and I hate being like this. I know they see the difference and I feel so guilty.

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I would appreciate any thoughts or ideas.

~ Fiona Jo

I’m feeling pretty down today. I feel like I keep going in circles. I’m sensitive to dose increases.**
- so have to do them pretty slowly.**
- and I feel like for the past 10 months it’s a matter of increasing meds.**
- slowly feeling better.**
- than slipping a step back with symptoms.**
- adjusting to a dose increase.**
- feeling better.**
- and so on.

I thought that adding Cytomel would improve my mood but it hasn’t. Now I am supposed to be going on a trip in a couple of weeks.**
- that I WAS looking forward to (in one of my ‘good’ periods’).**
- but I feel really depressed that I’m not going to be able to enjoy it.

I just feel like this is a never-ending cycle.**
- and I’ll never ‘stay’ feeling good without slipping back!

I could really use some encouragement. I don’t think this is depression really in the ‘diagnosis’ sense.**
- although I certainly feel depressed and worried. I have had issues with depression in the past (very likely I’ve also had low-lying thyroid issues for years too).**
- but with meds etc. was feeling very good for a long time.**
- until this Hashi’s reared it’s ugly head. Now it seems that with the thyroid meds I will get to my ‘normal self’.**
- then like I said slide back and have to bump the meds again.

My last lab results:

TSH: 0.17 (0ሓ-4.2 range)
FT4: 17.1 (12-22 range) At one point when I was feeling my best this was at 20.2)
FT3: 4.57 (3.9-6.7 range)

I am on 125mcg Eltroxin.**
- and 3.75mcg Cytomel.

I’m worried that even if I get my FT4 and FT3 to higher normal levels.**
- I’ll not be rid of my symptoms.**
- and what then? The emotional are as bad as the physical.**
- IMO. I did notice that with my last increase (tiny) of Cytomel.**
- that my joint pain stopped.**
- finally (it would get better.**
- then go back to hurting in my knees). Now the pain hasn’t come back. I’m just finding the emotional aspects harder to kick in the butt.

Sorry to vent.**
- I just needed to get that out and maybe get some words of wisdom.

Can someone help? I’m falling apart

---

I’m on Notriphyline for stomach problems (Pain/nausea) and it worked for a while.**
- but now it’s not. I take it once a day at night.**
- 50mg. My stomach hurts everyday or makes me feel sick. I can’t eat anything without it burning or making me nauseous. I’ve stopped eating as much cause I never have an appetite and I feel full after little amounts of food. Some foods just go straight through me now.**
- and now I’ve been getting chest pains. What’s wrong with me?

Genital Herpes question-20 year old male

---

In May I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with prostatitis after they ran several chlamydia/gonorrhea tests and they all came back negative. My symptoms (painful testicles.**
- frequent urination.**
- lower back pain) still come and go even after I took the antibiotics for bacterial prostatitis. This pain seemed to mainly come back with sexual activity.**
- especially in consecutive days. The fact that it could be an enlarged prostate worries me because I am only 20 years old. But also in the last week or so.**
- I noticed 3 small red bumps (that looked very deep in the skin) on my inner thigh.**
- and one larger bump on my pubic area that looked like a pimple because of its white head. All of these bumps only hurt when trying to pop them. Not thinking anything of it.**
- I popped the larger one and blood/pus came out.**
- but the 3 others were not able to be popped. I guess my question is this.**
- could these two things (the prostatititis symptoms and the bumps) be linked together as genital herpes? I have read a lot on the internet and it sounds like herpes blisters are typically just on the skin and pop by themselves.**
- with a clear liquid coming out.**
- and no blood. Oh and I also would like to add that about three weeks ago I shaved for the first time in months and months. Could this be herpes.**
- or is it just a coincidence that both of these things are occurring at the same time? Any help is greatly appreciated.**
- thank you so much for your time

Weird Red texture on my Face??

---

This past weekend I spent the night at a friends house.. We went out to eat I did eat something I never had before (asian salad ) but idk if it plays a roll in this at all. I woke up sunday morning and noticed some red under both of my eyes and little bumps as well. I kinda of ignored it thinking maybe it had to do with the way I had slept. But now it is tuesday evening and it only spread throughout my hole face.**
- It is so dry.**
- also red and little bumps all over that only I can see in the mirror. Also my lips have dried out ALOT and they feel weird when I run my tongue over them. What could this be? Could it be an STD? Allergic Reaction? Somebody please give advice.**
- I will go to the doctor tomorrow.**
- but would like a general idea.

I have had positive ANA tests for years. Last week my GP checked for C-Reactive protein which was normal. Sed rate was normal. Ana was once again positive at 1:320 homogeneous (sp?) pattern. HLAB27 was negative.**
- and the rheumatoid factor is down a little (was 27 and should have been

My back.**
- shoulders and neck constanly ache. My joints sometimes ache. I don’t know what to do to have my doc take my back pain seriously. I have tried naproxen.**
- ibuprofen.**
- tylenol…nothing works.

I asked if I should see a rheumatologist.**
- so waiting to hear back. It was actually my GP’s suggestion and he said I should get a back x-ray.**
- but I’m not sure that will show anything.

I just don’t know what to do.**
- but I’m sick of living in constant back pain.

is culture really a barrier in a relationship?

---

i had a 3 and half relationship with a pure chinese guy.**
- though he grew up in our town and i’m a filipina. he hasn’t introduce me to his family and so.**
- we parted ways!! its really hurtful although.**
-i dont regret breaking up with him.

Hello.**
-

I’m a 23 year old male who for the past few evenings has been wheezing and coughing so badly at night it is disrupting my sleep greatly. I am currently taking Singulair daily to help with asthma symptoms.**
- but it seems to be doing nothing. Would it be wise to go see my doctor.**
- or will the Singulair correct this in time?

Vitamin D

---

My physician has told me I must take Vitamin for the rest of my life.**
- although at this point my levels are good. He says it is essential for anybody 65 or over.
I have been taking it.**
- but after about 4 -5 days I start getting joint and muscular pain. I persevere for about 10 days then stop. The pain then subsides slowly over a 5 day period. Has anybody heard of this before?

Nose Bleed and Headache?

---

My boyfriend got a nose bleed this morning.**
- and tonight around 7:30 he got another one. Both times were a good amount of blood and wouldn’t stop without having tissue in his nose for a while. A little bit before the second nose bleed came.**
- he got a headache. Are random nose bleeds and headaches a serious matter or? What could it be? It’s starting to worry me.
Any help would be appreciated.