Still feeling pain of rape that happened years ago

I wonder how does a person complete come to grips with the pain of rape? Don’t get me wrong.**
- in a lot of ways I have a very full life – a loving husband.**
- beautiful kids. What others on the outside looking in would consider a “happy life”.

However.**
- I still feel the rape that happened to me when I was 14 years old is affecting me. I still have major affects where intimacy is concerned and while my husband understands (I told him what happened to me).**
- I know it’s frustrating for him. With my teenage daughter I am over-protective and worry whenever she is out with out with friends – practically obsess on it. However.**
- the reality is I am proud to say we have raised a very strong and independent daughter and when she was old enough I told her what happened to me (not to make her paranoid).**
- just to make her aware of why I have always been so over-protective and really with all my children.

I was a a mess in my teens and I made a lot of questionable decisions in my late teens – (I had kept the rape secret from my parents) and used drinking and partying to cope. I also became very reclusive for a period of time.**
- where I didn’t want to leave the home (even to go to school). When I was finally able to share what happened to me.**
- it helped.**
- but it wasn’t a cure all. I still dealt with periods of deep depression and self-loathing.

Through it all I managed to go to college and have a very successful career. Interesting enough the difficulty forming long-term relationships the rape caused.**
- actually seemed to help to make me better and stronger in my career – I could just throw myself in that and didn’t care about socializing or meaningful relationships.

My husband is a man I met at work and actually was one of my only TRUE friends. I confided in him early on and things just clicked. We first moved in together and than got married. Now.**
- years later all of the pain of the rape is coming back to me. I think the recent death of my dad who I saw as my “rock” the strongest and most sensitive man in life is causing the pain to resurface. Now.**
- along with the grieving.**
- I am having severe intimacy issues with my husband. I can’t even imagine making love right now. I pull away whenever my husband touches me.

So.**
- on top of grieving my father.**
- I am feeling tremendous guilt for not being a good wife. As a matter of fact I feel a bit distance from my entire family (I have spent a lot of time helping my mom and having been staying with her on and off). And when I’m home I just am having trouble feeling any closeness to my own family. I think my daughter is who I feel closest to and I hate being like this. I know they see the difference and I feel so guilty.

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I would appreciate any thoughts or ideas.

~ Fiona Jo

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Feeling trapped in a vicious circle

I’m feeling pretty down today. I feel like I keep going in circles. I’m sensitive to dose increases.**
- so have to do them pretty slowly.**
- and I feel like for the past 10 months it’s a matter of increasing meds.**
- slowly feeling better.**
- than slipping a step back with symptoms.**
- adjusting to a dose increase.**
- feeling better.**
- and so on.

I thought that adding Cytomel would improve my mood but it hasn’t. Now I am supposed to be going on a trip in a couple of weeks.**
- that I WAS looking forward to (in one of my ‘good’ periods’).**
- but I feel really depressed that I’m not going to be able to enjoy it.

I just feel like this is a never-ending cycle.**
- and I’ll never ‘stay’ feeling good without slipping back!

I could really use some encouragement. I don’t think this is depression really in the ‘diagnosis’ sense.**
- although I certainly feel depressed and worried. I have had issues with depression in the past (very likely I’ve also had low-lying thyroid issues for years too).**
- but with meds etc. was feeling very good for a long time.**
- until this Hashi’s reared it’s ugly head. Now it seems that with the thyroid meds I will get to my ‘normal self’.**
- then like I said slide back and have to bump the meds again.

My last lab results:

TSH: 0.17 (0ሓ-4.2 range)
FT4: 17.1 (12-22 range) At one point when I was feeling my best this was at 20.2)
FT3: 4.57 (3.9-6.7 range)

I am on 125mcg Eltroxin.**
- and 3.75mcg Cytomel.

I’m worried that even if I get my FT4 and FT3 to higher normal levels.**
- I’ll not be rid of my symptoms.**
- and what then? The emotional are as bad as the physical.**
- IMO. I did notice that with my last increase (tiny) of Cytomel.**
- that my joint pain stopped.**
- finally (it would get better.**
- then go back to hurting in my knees). Now the pain hasn’t come back. I’m just finding the emotional aspects harder to kick in the butt.

Sorry to vent.**
- I just needed to get that out and maybe get some words of wisdom.

Can someone help? I’m falling apart

Can someone help? I’m falling apart


I’m on Notriphyline for stomach problems (Pain/nausea) and it worked for a while.**
- but now it’s not. I take it once a day at night.**
- 50mg. My stomach hurts everyday or makes me feel sick. I can’t eat anything without it burning or making me nauseous. I’ve stopped eating as much cause I never have an appetite and I feel full after little amounts of food. Some foods just go straight through me now.**
- and now I’ve been getting chest pains. What’s wrong with me?

Genital Herpes question-20 year old male

Genital Herpes question-20 year old male


In May I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with prostatitis after they ran several chlamydia/gonorrhea tests and they all came back negative. My symptoms (painful testicles.**
- frequent urination.**
- lower back pain) still come and go even after I took the antibiotics for bacterial prostatitis. This pain seemed to mainly come back with sexual activity.**
- especially in consecutive days. The fact that it could be an enlarged prostate worries me because I am only 20 years old. But also in the last week or so.**
- I noticed 3 small red bumps (that looked very deep in the skin) on my inner thigh.**
- and one larger bump on my pubic area that looked like a pimple because of its white head. All of these bumps only hurt when trying to pop them. Not thinking anything of it.**
- I popped the larger one and blood/pus came out.**
- but the 3 others were not able to be popped. I guess my question is this.**
- could these two things (the prostatititis symptoms and the bumps) be linked together as genital herpes? I have read a lot on the internet and it sounds like herpes blisters are typically just on the skin and pop by themselves.**
- with a clear liquid coming out.**
- and no blood. Oh and I also would like to add that about three weeks ago I shaved for the first time in months and months. Could this be herpes.**
- or is it just a coincidence that both of these things are occurring at the same time? Any help is greatly appreciated.**
- thank you so much for your time

Weird Red texture on my Face??

UnhappyWeird Red texture on my Face??


This past weekend I spent the night at a friends house.. We went out to eat I did eat something I never had before (asian salad ) but idk if it plays a roll in this at all. I woke up sunday morning and noticed some red under both of my eyes and little bumps as well. I kinda of ignored it thinking maybe it had to do with the way I had slept. But now it is tuesday evening and it only spread throughout my hole face.**
- It is so dry.**
- also red and little bumps all over that only I can see in the mirror. Also my lips have dried out ALOT and they feel weird when I run my tongue over them. What could this be? Could it be an STD? Allergic Reaction? Somebody please give advice.**
- I will go to the doctor tomorrow.**
- but would like a general idea.

Please help! Not sure where to go from here

I have had positive ANA tests for years. Last week my GP checked for C-Reactive protein which was normal. Sed rate was normal. Ana was once again positive at 1:320 homogeneous (sp?) pattern. HLAB27 was negative.**
- and the rheumatoid factor is down a little (was 27 and should have been

My back.**
- shoulders and neck constanly ache. My joints sometimes ache. I don’t know what to do to have my doc take my back pain seriously. I have tried naproxen.**
- ibuprofen.**
- tylenol…nothing works.

I asked if I should see a rheumatologist.**
- so waiting to hear back. It was actually my GP’s suggestion and he said I should get a back x-ray.**
- but I’m not sure that will show anything.

I just don’t know what to do.**
- but I’m sick of living in constant back pain.

Wheezing/Coughing at night

Hello.**
-

I’m a 23 year old male who for the past few evenings has been wheezing and coughing so badly at night it is disrupting my sleep greatly. I am currently taking Singulair daily to help with asthma symptoms.**
- but it seems to be doing nothing. Would it be wise to go see my doctor.**
- or will the Singulair correct this in time?

Vitamin D

QuestionVitamin D


My physician has told me I must take Vitamin for the rest of my life.**
- although at this point my levels are good. He says it is essential for anybody 65 or over.
I have been taking it.**
- but after about 4 -5 days I start getting joint and muscular pain. I persevere for about 10 days then stop. The pain then subsides slowly over a 5 day period. Has anybody heard of this before?

Nose Bleed and Headache?

Nose Bleed and Headache?


My boyfriend got a nose bleed this morning.**
- and tonight around 7:30 he got another one. Both times were a good amount of blood and wouldn’t stop without having tissue in his nose for a while. A little bit before the second nose bleed came.**
- he got a headache. Are random nose bleeds and headaches a serious matter or? What could it be? It’s starting to worry me.
Any help would be appreciated.